An Internal Chat with Buddha

All content of this post is from the book "If the Buddha Dated" by Charlotte Kasl, PH.D.

"I'm so worried about keeping this man," Julia says, as she pictures Buddha and her sitting together under the Bo tree. "He's the best thing to come along in years."

"Have you noticed the beauty of leaves on the tree?" Buddha says.

"Buddha! What the hell does that have to do with what I'm saying? I'm upset. I need help."

"Help for what?" Buddha says.

"To feel better?" Julia says.

"How about being exactly where you are?"

"Why in God's name would I want to keep feeling this way?"

"Because it's a part of you - a part that needs your awareness and compassion."

"But what about Tony, what should I do?"

"You need to come face to face with a truth about yourself. There is a big empty place you're trying to fill up with this man. You're clutching to this relationship to feel secure, but security comes from completely letting go of all control and allowing yourself to feel whatever you fear. You are trying to create solid ground under your feet so you don't have to experience being alone, but if you would let go, you'd find that the emptiness you fear is really a still and restful place."

"But what do I do with this anxiety?"

"Do nothing. Sit with it quietly, feel your breath. Then ask yourself the truly important question:
Why are you so afraid of someone leaving you or of being alone? Be more honest. It's the only refuge you have."


"There is an expression, 'take refuge in the Buddha,' meaning take refuge in your own true and perfect Buddha nature. Our refuge is in being exactly where we are - not dramatizing our problems by replaying them in our heads, telling stories to our friends, eliciting sympathy and convincing ourselves that this is a very big deal. Our refuge is in the stillness of being the compassionate witness to our panic and fear - not judging it as good or bad, just accepting the what is of the moment.

I feel anxious. Hmm, that's interesting. What's this about? What am I telling myself? What does it look like, feel like?

Breath. Feel your body. Does the anxiety have color, sound, texture, form? Where is it? Breath, again, be with it. It's energy, just like a cloud, smoke, fire or water. All your feelings, thoughts, and anxiety are just energy. Stay with it. Breath in your frustration, breath out clarity and light to your friend, to all people feeling frustrated in relationships.

If we remember that everything is our Buddha nature, we smile on ourselves, and remember we are now grown up. People will come and go. A new relationship may or may not work out, but we can walk the spiritual path - open, natural and honest - and see what happens. If we realize that our ego creates soap operas to drown out the deeper dilemmas of existence, we can relax, be still, follow our breath and watch our melodrama from a distance. As our fears subside, we come out of our cocoon and once again notice the trees, delight in the smell of fresh laundry or children playing, and come back into remembering that we're part of all that is.

From this safe place, we can remove our masks, look into the mirror and accept this package of imperfections, fears, and blemishes. We remember, too, that our new friend is also a package deal - imperfect and beautiful - no more able to salve our hurts and fill our emptiness than the masks we just hung on the wall."

Namaste, my lovely friends! <3